Emergency Surgeon

Richard was lounging at home in the late afternoon.

All of a sudden his pager beeped, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an emergency surgeon.

As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him – lights flashing, siren blaring.

So Richard hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call.

Within seconds came the policeman’s response: a pair of handcuffs flapping outside the police car window.

Loss of voice

One guy goes to a doctor and says, “Doctor, my wife has lost her voice. What should I do to help her get it back? “

The doctor replies, “Try to come home at 3 in the morning.”

One hundred percent

Patient asked, “Doctor, please tell me the truth. What are my chances of recovery?”

Doctor replies, “Just one hundred percent! Statistics show that only nine out of ten die of the disease. Now nine of my patients have already died of it. You are the tenth!”