Big John Is Coming!

After several days crossing the Arizona deserts the cowboy was approaching a town on his horse. He had been dying for a drink and he was finally going to get it.

Cowboy tied his horse in front of the only bar in town and walked in looking forward to slaking his thirst for alcohol.

He walked up to the bar and just as he was about to order someone came running up the street hollering “Big John is coming! Big John is coming!”. The bar emptied out, in fact the entire town emptied.

Our traveler stood there dumbfounded wondering what just happened and he still didn’t have his drink. Then it occurred to him there was no one to stop him from getting his own.

He walked behind the bar and poured himself a large one when he heard thundering hooves.

A giant man with shoulders so wide he had a buzzard perched on one and a wildcat on the other galloped up to the bar riding a buffalo.

He had scraggly hair down to his waist and a snarl on his face. He slid the buffalo to a stop outside the bar.

Big John Is Coming!

Vaulting off and he strode in ripping the doors off their hinges. He stomped up to the bar bellowing “Barkeep! Quick! Give me a drink! NOW!”

Wondering if it was true one’s life flashed before one’s eyes in the last moments of life the traveler, with shaking hands, began to uncork a bottle.

With an exasperated grunt the giant the giant grabbed the bottle out of his hand, bit the top off, spit out the glass, and chugged the entire bottle, slammed it down, turned and headed towards the door.

The traveler was so surprised at this turn of event that before he could stop himself he stuttered “You’re leaving?”.

With a stunned look on his face the giant turned and said “Hell yeah, haven’t you heard? Big John is coming!”