An Old Lady Calls 911 Late One Night

An old lady calls 911 late one night…

The dispatcher answers

“911, what is your emergency?”

“There appear to be two men rummaging through my shed.”

“A breaking and entering? We’ll have an officer over in an hour.”

“An hour? But they won’t be here in an hour. They’re breaking and entering now.”

“Ma’am, no officers are available right now. We’ll send a squad car by in an hour.”

The old lady hangs up, then calls back a few minutes later.

“911, what is your emergency?”

“I’m the lady who called about the two men breaking into my shed. You don’t have to send anyone. I s**t them.”

Within a few minutes, there are police all over her yard.

The men are apprehended, and the commanding-officer-on-scene goes up to take the woman’s statement.

“One other thing… I thought you told the 911 dispatcher that you had sh*t the men?”

“And I thought the 911 dispatcher had told me that there were no officers available.”