The Newspaper

Bruce, sitting alone in his train compartment on a long journey, suddenly feels a nature call coming on strongly.

He jumps up and runs down the corridor to the toilet. Trying frantically to open the door he sees a ragged piece of paper stuck to the unyielding door, informing him that it is ‘Out of order’.

Now, barely able to hold it in, he rushes into the next carriage only to encounter an ‘Occupied’ sign. Hammering on the door and yelling only produces a rude reply by the occupant.

Extremely agitated, Bruce dashes back into his compartment, grabs the newspaper he had been reading, loosens his trousers and squats. With a sigh, he delivers.

Looking wildly around him for a non-existent receptacle, he folds up the newspaper and places it inconspicuously in the overhead luggage rack.

After about twenty minutes, the train stops at a station and another traveller enters his compartment.

After a few minutes the man says, “It smells rather bad in here, doesn’t it?”

Bruce looks at him wide-eyed and says, “I can’t smell anything.”

After a short silence, the man looks around to find the source of the smell and glues his eyes onto the overhead luggage rack. He gets up and takes the folded newspaper down and opens it.

He stares with disbelief at the pile of shit in the folded paper. He shouts, “This is shit!”

Bruce looks at him aloof and says, “You can’t believe everything that is in the newspaper!”